(51) Respond with the Conduct of Christ - Forbearance

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another . . . (Colossians 3:12-13 NET)

“Bearing with one another” means “hold yourselves back from one another” or “put up with one another.” Forbearance is the restraint that we practice when we possess a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. The way Paul writes this in the Greek conveys the thought that forbearance is to be continual and reciprical.

Paul urged us to be forbearing with one another. To forebear has the negative meaning, “to refrain or abstain,” or “to control oneself.” But it also has the positive meaning of bearing one, or carrying. Thus one translator substitutes “affirming” for fore-bearing in this text. We are forbearing when we affirm, when we value and respect another. – Maxie D. Dunnam

We have already considered our natural tendency when people get us discouraged. We naturally gravitate toward criticizing them, complaining, getting annoyed and impatient. We have already considered some important attitudes needed to combat these reactions. Here is where action comes in.

When we bear with others, we will hold back our criticisms, complaints, and irritation, and impatience. We will first correct our attitude and thinking, and then we will control our actions.

But, as Maxie Dunnam points out, there is a positive aspect to this as well. We control our negative, harmful responses and instead, we will positively offer encouragement, affirmation, and respect. When people get us down, we need to focus on lifting them up. Perhaps if we get back to putting ourselves in their shoes and attempt to understand their life circumstances, we will see them in a different light and find something in them to affirm. Perhaps we can find a way to come along side them to encourage them in their area of weakness that gets us discouraged. If we are humble enough, we just might actually find ourselves respecting them for overcoming challenges in their lives to do as good as they are in spite of obstacles.

The next time you are tempted to become discouraged with someone and give up on them, clothe yourself with forbearance. Pray for God to help you to see concrete and specific ways you can encourage and affirm them, and perhaps even discover some respect for them. You might be surprised what God can do starting with you, if you’re willing.
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