Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others.
(Colossians 3:12-13 NET)
The Greek word for forgiveness here is charizomai, The Greek word "grace" is charis, and has the same form as this word. So, the meaning is "to show one's self gracious, kind and benevolent in granting forgiveness." The present tense of the verb makes it plain that this forgiveness is to be unceasing, even inexhaustible. We can never stop forgiving.
God commands us to freely and generously forgive others when they offend us, let us down, keep blowing it, criticize and condemn us, or just get on our nerves. We are to keep doing this as often as necessary, even when they don’t deserve it and keep on failing.
Sometimes this is very difficult, especially if we have really been let down hard or it is a repeated issue. You feel like the offence is just too great or they’ve done it one too many times. “Enough is enough,” you say, “I’m done with them, I give up.” You begin to think you are right in not forgiving them. Or, you know you should but you just can’t find it in you to do it.
Selwyn Hughes gives us good advice on how to develop a heart of forgiveness.
When people say to me during a counseling session, "My problem is that I can't forgive," I usually respond by saying, "No, that's not your problem. Your problem is that you don’t know how much you have been forgiven."Paul says here in Colossians 3 that we are to forgive, “just as the Lord has forgiven you.” This phrase could be translated: “according as,” “just as,” “in proportion to” or, “to the degree that.” In other words, we are to forgive others because God forgave us, to the degree that He forgave us, and in the same way that God forgave us. Our forgiveness must be a forgiveness that is full, free, and complete.
You say, “That’s impossible.” I say, you are already defeating yourself and denying the truth of the Word of God and, in effect, calling God a liar. He has clearly told us His grace is sufficient for us to do as He commands and He tells us that “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and Godliness through the knowledge of Him (2 Peter 1:3)” So, to say I can’t forgive like God forgave me is to call God a liar because He says His power is within me to do it. What I am really saying is that I refuse to believe God and I refuse to do what He tells me to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I know this is not easy. I have known times when I felt like every fiber of my being was saying, “I can’t forgive this, it hurts too much.” But then, I must decide if I will believe my feelings or believe God? Will I obey my emotions or will I obey God? Will I fight against God by refusing to forgive and so, become as bad a sinner as the one I choose not to forgive?
Here’s a simple exercise to help you forgive. You may do it in your head, but if you still struggle with forgiving, put it on paper. First, list the sins that the person that you struggle to forgive has committed against you. You may even write down the things that are not sins, just irritations if you like. You may need a full sheet of paper for this but probably not.
Next, take out a ream of paper – that’s 500 sheets. Start writing down all the sins you have committed against God – you can leave out the ignorant mistakes. Actually, don’t try to remember all the ones you’ve committed in your lifetime. That would be far too difficult and take way too much time. Just stick with the last year. Now, think hard, and be sure to list them all. Don’t forget the times you did things without consulting God first. The unkind or unthoughtful words to others. The lustful, covetous, greedy, unkind, mean, and ungodly thoughts need to be listed too. Oh, and don’t forget the positive things you neglected to do. You know, like read your Bible, pray, share your faith, demonstrate the glory of God to others. Get the picture? Do you really need to complete this exercise?
You have been forgiven innumerable times for repeated offenses by God. Before God, you are a major failure! But you are a failure who, in Christ, is forgiven freely by His grace. How can you withhold forgiveness from someone else because of the comparatively petty, insignificant offence against you? Forgive. Forgive just like God has forgiven you!
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Next: (53) Putting on the Character & Conduct of Christ - Conclusion
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